Friendship
I believe that life shapes us. It gives us moments that cause us to reflect. And lately I have been able to reflect deeply on the things that I have lost. But loss always provides something beautiful. It provides a gratitude for the things which we still have. And today I want to express my gratitude for one of my most prized possession.
I am grateful for my friends. I have been so blessed in so many ways during these last 24 (nearing 25) years. But of all of the things that I ought to be most grateful for, I should always remember that I have wonderful friends. I have been uplifted, supported, and improved by these amazing people. What never ceases to amaze me are the different walks of life that my friends have come from. Lutheran, Catholic, Atheist, Mormon and many other beliefs litter the past of my most beloved friends. Black, White, Hispanic, and Jewish are a few more of the distinctions that these people carry. They are all so wonderfully different from each other. And yet among these differences there is a beautiful commonality. They see me, and more importantly, they embrace me for who I am. This I believe is the true test of friendship. Do they truly accept and and love you for who you are inside and out? It saddens me that so many people are unable to answer yes to that question. No one in this life deserves to go through it feeling alone.
Someone on my mission once told me something beautiful. He said, "what right do I have to not like someone or think that they aren't totally awesome? After all doesn't God like them? Doesn't He think that they are totally worthwhile? And if He, the greatest of all, thinks that they are so awesome, what right do I have to think anything other than that?" That has always stuck with me. God loves all of His children. He loves us because we are so unique. I like to think of myself as a non judgmental person. But in many ways I know that I am. It is often hard not to judge a book by its cover. I am simply glad at this time that my dear friends have given me a thorough read through.
As one chapter ends another begins. A simple and profound adage that gives me hope for the future. I am hopeful. Hopeful for love, for marriage, for school, and for many many other things. This hope is driven forward by my friends. It is a fire that is given oxygen by the steady encouragement of those who love me in ways that I struggle even loving myself. Thank you. Thank you for your love. Thank you for your strength. Thank you for everything my dearest friends.
One of my life's greatest ambitions is to find and commit myself to my greatest friend. In other words I want to marry my best friend. I want my marriage to be one that is entirely based on the principles of friendship, loyalty, and dedication. I want to marry someone that I can talk to for hours... Hours and hours about nothing at all. It doesn't have to be deep. It doesn't have to be profound. It just has to be fun. Simple, enjoyable fun. I want my marriage to be a lasting trip of total and relaxed conversation with someone that I know will always be there to support, uphold, and correct me. A phrase that bears repeating for the rest of my life is the simple proclamation that I want to marry my best friend.
If your'e reading this then I must mean something to you. Some of you may be friends and some of you may be family. But if you are reading this then all of you at some point have shown me compassion and love in my times of need. For that I am eternally grateful. I live my life in fear that one day I will be forgotten. Thank you all for never forgetting me. Thank you all for being my friends. I was once told that if someone ever feels forgotten by us then they may feel forgotten by God. I am so sorry if I have ever forgotten you. Life is a long and lonely road sometimes. I hope you all know that you don't have to walk it alone. Whether I am your friend, brother, son, former missionary, or acquaintance, I want you to know that I love you, and that I am always here to make lonely path feel a little bit more friendly.
Someone very wise once told me that most important thing we can ever do is make someone feel loved. I hope that I am able to do this for you. I hope that I am able to be there for all of you the way that you have been there for me. Break ups, letdowns, firings, social anxieties, religious doubts, etc. The list is endless. There are so many things in this life that hurt us. I hope you all know that there is a Balm of Gilead. We are the Balm of Gilead. God send us to each other. We are the angelic messengers of God. For each other. We are the way He answers each others prayers. Thank you all for ceaselessly being an answer to mine.
Love Jacob
Thursday, January 16, 2014
Friday, January 10, 2014
Identity
Hello All! Well this is my first blog so hopefully y'all will cut me some slack! Here we go!
I suppose that one question we all face at one time or another is, "who am I"? Well I am here to proclaim that this is not a question I am still searching for an answer to. I know who I am. And almost as importantly, I am proud of who I am. I am A Child of God. This adage that I was taught as a boy has resonated with me throughout my life and especially in my adult years (yes Mom I am an adult). I love my Heavenly Father. And the fact that I call Him Father is immensely important to my identity. God is not a mist. He is not a ball of goo. He is a person. He has a name. He has feelings. He has hobbies and interests (hopefully my blog will become one of His interests). And in the case of my identity, it is important to note that God is a Father. I am one of His Children. And as I have come to know my Father in Heaven I have come to know myself. My eternal identity is the most important aspect of my daily identity.
Who am I? I am a Child of God. I am Jacob Moshe Miller. I am angry and impatient. I am selfish and lustful. However, I can be kind. I can be loving. I am a family man. I love my nieces and nephews more than life itself. I am a guitarist. I am a drummer. I am singer. I am a poet. I am a mixed martial artist. I am many many things. But I am most beautifully and wonderfully two things. I am a Child of God and I am IMPERFECT!!! Hooray!!! I admitted it! I am imperfect! I am flawed! I have so many problems that sometimes I worry about why anyone would want to spend time with me. There! Sigh of relief breathed deep. Now I don't have to worry about any of you have unrealistic expectations. I have a dear friend who once told me something that changed my life. She said, and I quote, "I love peoples flaws! That is what makes them beautiful!" What a wonderful sentiment. It is indeed true. Something that I have come to realize is that people flaws are most often a reflection of their fears. And peoples fears are often the mask of their most amazing qualities! So if you ever have a moment where you are obsessing over someone's imperfections I would encourage you to take a moment and think about what their imperfections reveal about their personality. I'll give you a hypothetical. Say that you have a young man. He is often impatient and lashes out at others. His anger is one of his greatest flaws. But underneath the anger and volatile behavior is a tender heart. The heart of a man who loves deep. The heart of a man who simply wants to be understood. His anger is a mask that he puts on to defend his tender heart. If your reading this then you probably know that this "hypothetical" young man is me. I bear little shame in admitting it. I am a tender man.
I said in my missionary homecoming talk that my mission turned me into a big ol' softie. It was a lie. I have always been a big ol' softie. My mission simply stripped away the pride, vanity, and anger that covered the tender heart of a man that cries when he: bears his testimony, talks about his mother and how much he loves her, thinks about how much he loves his nieces and nephews, and thinks about getting married in the temple to someone special. I am a big ol' softie. I am an angry, former cagefighter who is irrationally obsessed with pizza, Mountain Dew, Tom Brady and finding the love of my life. I am IMPERFECT!! But I like to think that the aforementioned adage applies to me. I am beautiful BECAUSE of my imperfections. My anger masks my love and my big mouth masks my good listening skills. So what do you think people!? When I piss you off by being a total jack ass will you forgive me and look past my flaws to see my better qualities? I hope and pray that you will. I love deep people. So don't step on my heart. After all..... it is a big one...
Love Jacob
I suppose that one question we all face at one time or another is, "who am I"? Well I am here to proclaim that this is not a question I am still searching for an answer to. I know who I am. And almost as importantly, I am proud of who I am. I am A Child of God. This adage that I was taught as a boy has resonated with me throughout my life and especially in my adult years (yes Mom I am an adult). I love my Heavenly Father. And the fact that I call Him Father is immensely important to my identity. God is not a mist. He is not a ball of goo. He is a person. He has a name. He has feelings. He has hobbies and interests (hopefully my blog will become one of His interests). And in the case of my identity, it is important to note that God is a Father. I am one of His Children. And as I have come to know my Father in Heaven I have come to know myself. My eternal identity is the most important aspect of my daily identity.
Who am I? I am a Child of God. I am Jacob Moshe Miller. I am angry and impatient. I am selfish and lustful. However, I can be kind. I can be loving. I am a family man. I love my nieces and nephews more than life itself. I am a guitarist. I am a drummer. I am singer. I am a poet. I am a mixed martial artist. I am many many things. But I am most beautifully and wonderfully two things. I am a Child of God and I am IMPERFECT!!! Hooray!!! I admitted it! I am imperfect! I am flawed! I have so many problems that sometimes I worry about why anyone would want to spend time with me. There! Sigh of relief breathed deep. Now I don't have to worry about any of you have unrealistic expectations. I have a dear friend who once told me something that changed my life. She said, and I quote, "I love peoples flaws! That is what makes them beautiful!" What a wonderful sentiment. It is indeed true. Something that I have come to realize is that people flaws are most often a reflection of their fears. And peoples fears are often the mask of their most amazing qualities! So if you ever have a moment where you are obsessing over someone's imperfections I would encourage you to take a moment and think about what their imperfections reveal about their personality. I'll give you a hypothetical. Say that you have a young man. He is often impatient and lashes out at others. His anger is one of his greatest flaws. But underneath the anger and volatile behavior is a tender heart. The heart of a man who loves deep. The heart of a man who simply wants to be understood. His anger is a mask that he puts on to defend his tender heart. If your reading this then you probably know that this "hypothetical" young man is me. I bear little shame in admitting it. I am a tender man.
I said in my missionary homecoming talk that my mission turned me into a big ol' softie. It was a lie. I have always been a big ol' softie. My mission simply stripped away the pride, vanity, and anger that covered the tender heart of a man that cries when he: bears his testimony, talks about his mother and how much he loves her, thinks about how much he loves his nieces and nephews, and thinks about getting married in the temple to someone special. I am a big ol' softie. I am an angry, former cagefighter who is irrationally obsessed with pizza, Mountain Dew, Tom Brady and finding the love of my life. I am IMPERFECT!! But I like to think that the aforementioned adage applies to me. I am beautiful BECAUSE of my imperfections. My anger masks my love and my big mouth masks my good listening skills. So what do you think people!? When I piss you off by being a total jack ass will you forgive me and look past my flaws to see my better qualities? I hope and pray that you will. I love deep people. So don't step on my heart. After all..... it is a big one...
Love Jacob
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