Identity

Hello All! Well this is my first blog so hopefully y'all will cut me some slack! Here we go!


I suppose that one question we all face at one time or another is, "who am I"? Well I am here to proclaim that this is not a question I am still searching for an answer to. I know who I am. And almost as importantly, I am proud of who I am. I am A Child of God. This adage that I was taught as a boy has resonated with me throughout my life and especially in my adult years (yes Mom I am an adult). I love my Heavenly Father. And the fact that I call Him Father is immensely important to my identity. God is not a mist. He is not a ball of goo. He is a person. He has a name. He has feelings. He has hobbies and interests (hopefully my blog will become one of His interests). And in the case of my identity, it is important to note that God is a Father. I am one of His Children. And as I have come to know my Father in Heaven I have come to know myself. My eternal identity is the most important aspect of my daily identity.


Who am I? I am a Child of God. I am Jacob Moshe Miller. I am angry and impatient. I am selfish and lustful. However, I can be kind. I can be loving. I am a family man. I love my nieces and nephews more than life itself. I am a guitarist. I am a drummer. I am singer. I am a poet. I am a mixed martial artist. I am many many things. But I am most beautifully and wonderfully two things. I am a Child of God and I am IMPERFECT!!! Hooray!!! I admitted it! I am imperfect! I am flawed! I have so many problems that sometimes I worry about why anyone would want to spend time with me. There! Sigh of relief breathed deep. Now I don't have to worry about any of you have unrealistic expectations. I have a dear friend who once told me something that changed my life. She said, and I quote, "I love peoples flaws! That is what makes them beautiful!" What a wonderful sentiment. It is indeed true. Something that I have come to realize is that people flaws are most often a reflection of their fears. And peoples fears are often the mask of their most amazing qualities! So if you ever have a moment where you are obsessing over someone's imperfections I would encourage you to take a moment and think about what their imperfections reveal about their personality. I'll give you a hypothetical. Say that you have a young man. He is often impatient and lashes out at others. His anger is one of his greatest flaws. But underneath the anger and volatile behavior is a tender heart. The heart of a man who loves deep. The heart of a man who simply wants to be understood. His anger is a mask that he puts on to defend his tender heart. If your reading this then you probably know that this "hypothetical" young man is me. I bear little shame in admitting it. I am a tender man.


I said in my missionary homecoming talk that my mission turned me into a big ol' softie. It was a lie. I have always been a big ol' softie. My mission simply stripped away the pride, vanity, and anger that covered the tender heart of a man that cries when he: bears his testimony, talks about his mother and how much he loves her, thinks about how much he loves his nieces and nephews, and thinks about getting married in the temple to someone special. I am a big ol' softie. I am an angry, former cagefighter who is irrationally obsessed with pizza, Mountain Dew, Tom Brady and finding the love of my life. I am IMPERFECT!! But I like to think that the aforementioned adage applies to me. I am beautiful BECAUSE of my imperfections. My anger masks my love and my big mouth masks my good listening skills. So what do you think people!? When I piss you off by being a total jack ass will you forgive me and look past my flaws to see my better qualities? I hope and pray that you will. I love deep people. So don't step on my heart. After all..... it is a big one...


Love Jacob