As a boy my favorite story was that of a group of young men name the stripling warriors. It was a time of war and these 2000 young men were called up to defend their homes and their families. Throughout a series of miraculous events, none of these young men died on the field of battle. When asked how they managed to hold so firmly to their faith in times of such great tribulation, they responded with something I will never forget. They said, "We do not doubt, our Mothers knew it". These young men had been taught by their mothers that if they held firm to their core values of the Gospel of Jesus Christ that they could overcome any trial. I have always wanted to be a stripling warrior. I have always wanted to be a man that understands, believes, and trusts in my mother. She is a miraculous woman. Unlike any other. She has taught and continues to teach me many things. But first and foremost my mother always taught me that women are to be respected, loved, and cherished. I will never forget this lesson. Of all of the many things that my mother has taught me it has sunk deepest into my soul. I love my Mom and my sisters so much. I would tear limb from limb and suffer excruciating pain if it meant that they didn't have to. I love them all. They mean the world to me.If you know me at all then you know that my mission meant everything to me. It is where I became who I am today. It taught me perseverance, dedication, and compassion. I would like to share with you a memory from my mission. It was on a snowy night in December 2012. I was up late with one of my roommates, Elder Figgins. We were having a wonderful chat about how much we missed our families. He told me a moving story about how he wanted to become a man worthy of his last name. I will forever look up to him because of the man he showed me he is on the inside. After sharing his love for his family he asked me a strange question. He asked me what my greatest regret in life was. I was an older missionary. In fact was several years older than almost all of my peers in the mission field. And as such it was assumed that I had led a different life than the rest of the missionaries. Therefore, I was used to this question being brought to bear during times of curiosity. But this seemed a a strange time for him to be asking. I asked him why he was asking and he said that he wasn't sure. "It had just popped into his head" he described. He had asked a question that would not have seemed connected to family and yet was inextricably linked. Elder Figgins had no way of knowing this at the time. But I am sure that the Spirit prompted him to ask that question. I stared at him for a while. It was a hard question to answer. "My Mom" I said. I could barely choke out the words. "I didn't use to treat my Mom well". I had a hard time controlling my tears. I am not an emotional extrovert. I usually bottle my tears up. But for some reason if you get me talking about my Mom I can not control them and the tears always flow.
I told Elder Figgins that night that my greatest regret in life is not having treated my mother the way she deserves. I stand by those words. It is indeed the greatest regret of my life. My mom is so wise and so experienced that sometimes I forget that she doesn't have all the answers. She is always so smart and so able that sometimes I forget that inside of my sagely mother is a little girl. Beneath the wisdom and experience accrued over a lifetime is a tender beautiful daughter of God. I ought to remember it more often. I love her so much. And she deserves to be treated as a beautiful daughter of God. If I am able to marry a woman that is half as wonderful as my mom then I will feel blessed indeed.
That same night Elder Figgins asked me how I ended up on my mission. Once again this is highly related to the women in my family. And I want to explain a little of how. I have three sisters. Kyla, Haya, and Esther. They are each very wonderful. And each very different from each other. They have always been there for me. And I am eternally grateful. As I look back on my life I see how God has guided and shaped me. One of the ways he has done that is through the guidance of my beautiful sisters. When I was young I was a chubby boy. I was teased a lot at school. For years this went on. And though it seems minor to be teased as an adult it was very difficult for me as a child. It was at this point that Kyla changed my life. When I would come home after a rough day at school I very rarely told anyone about it. Millers are not very good at asking for help or saying that we are hurting. But whether or not she knew it Kyla was there for me in a way that I will never forget. After school I would often sit with Kyla and we would eat a piece of fruit together. She would ask about my day and tell me about hers. Kyla was my first true friend as a boy. She listened compassionately and always told me that she loved me. I love her so much. That was Kyla's time to support me in my life. And I know that without Kyla I would never have ended up on a mission. She taught me at a very young age what it was like to feel compassion. Now onto Esther!Esther is as stubborn as she is beautiful. She is raw horsepower. She doesn't quit and always finds a way to do what must be done. I admire her for this. But much more important that this is the fact the Esther never left me behind. In my struggles to find my place in life Esther always had a place by her side that was just for me. She was my best friend when I was a young teenager. To be more honest she was my only friend. Esther was never too cool for me. She always wanted to know what I thought about things. I remember quite well hundreds of mornings where Esther would pull me into her room and asked me if she looked pretty. I hope I always made her feel as beautiful as she was and is. My opinion mattered to Esther. And I don't think that I have ever told her but that means more than anything to me. Esther told me I was handsome and laughed at my jokes. She taught me everything I know about listening to country music. watching chick flicks, and listening to girls rant about their emotions. In short Esther taught me the ins and outs of girls. I am sure that I missed a lot. But boy do I feel like learned a lot. I owe so much to her. Without her support I would never have felt like I belonged in life let alone felt like I belonged on a mission.
So Now to Haya! Well let me just say that as a boy I was infamous for blaming my life's problems on Haya. I don't remember doing it but it was a long time ago. Haya is literally the smartest woman I have ever met in my life. She is so well put together and so intelligent that I think she honestly just intimidated me as a young boy. But Haya did something for me that I don't think I will ever be able to repay her for. When I was 19 I was a total misanthrope. I was convinced that the world sucked and that I had every reason to hate everything. I was hardly a joy to be around. But Haya was not to be denied what she had decided to build. Haya approached me after high school and told me that she wanted to be my friend. She told me that she wanted to hang out once a week and that she would either take me to dinner or to a movie. She wasn't kidding. It took a long time until I let a few of my walls down but Haya stuck it out with me. She was there through the good, the bad, and all of the in betweens. She was amazing. I can tell you one hundred percent that I would never have gone on a mission if it wasn't for Haya. She was a rock for me. She never judged me or belittled me. She never chastised me or scolded me. She was loving, patient and thoughtful at all times. Haya in many ways saved my life from going into a complete and total tail spin during my late teens and early twenties. When I was 20 my longtime roommate got married and I had to find somewhere else to live. Haya offered up her condo. I was not a really big fan of the idea. We were decently close at the time. But we were not nearly that close. Or so I thought. She told me to move in and if I didn't like it I could move out and there would be no feelings hurt. So I thought I would give it a try. She did something the first day that astounded me. She bought a TIVO as a welcome to the house gift. It was simple but meant a lot to me. I could tell how much she wanted me to feel comfortable in her home. I ended up living there for almost two years. I LOVED it. Haya became my best friend and one of the greatest confidants I have ever or will ever have. It was during the time I lived under roof that I gained a testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. It was in her living room that I first prayed about the Book of Mormon and received my answer that it was the word of God. And it was in the bedroom that she had offered to me that I first felt the power of the Atonement work a mighty change of heart in me. I know without a doubt that I would not be nearly the man I am today if Haya hadn't asked me to live with her. It was the strong presence of the Spirit of God that abides in her home that allowed me to gain a testimony of the things I preached on my mission. I could NEVER have done it without her. Thank you a million times over, thank you to my wonderful Haya. 
I didn't intend for this blog to be about my mom and my sisters. But I suppose I should have known better. There is no way I would be able to write a blogpost about the divine nature of women without it turning into a hommage to them. They are the lights of my life. In closing I want to let my Sisters in law know that all the things I said apply to them. As far as I am concerned you may remove the in law on your title of sister. I love you as my own blood. And though I may not have a lifetime of memories to give you credit for, I look forward to my opportunity to spend eternity with you as my sisters :)
Love Jacob
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